hey hey kids

DJ Etan was a little too generous in his praise for my "talent." If I were to use a pool to describe my writing, my simile would go a little like "Reading my thoughts is like watching somebody crack their head open on a diving board, the initial terror freezes all thought and just when your senses return and all logical voices in your head are screaming for you to get help, the blood begins to dance in the water and you are so mesmerized that you only realize you let someone die when the paramedics ask you to move out of the way." It's definitely life changing.

Anyway, I feel a tremendous amount of pressure to be riotously funny or witty or something in my first post. To kick things off, I thought I'd talk about feminine itch and boy bands. Some say the two are interchangeable.

But seriously, reading back (I didn't actually have to read back because I've read this blog for a long time) on DJ Etan's posts, he's so masculine. It's all sports and rock 'n' roll and chicks. As the key to any sort of successful partnership is equanimity, I will contribute a softer, more delicate body of work.

So prepare yourselves for endless rants about Justin Timberlake and ovulation.