Flame On!

Amazing. Just amazing. This has got to be one of the least masculine products ever. If wearing this men's leather skirt does not inspire people to put things in your ass, you'll just have to do it yourself.

Let's examine the name of this product -- Utilikilt. It's a quite clever combination of the words utility and kilt. We'll look at utility first. Weeeee it's a dictionary:

"Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)"
Utility U*til"i*ty, n. OE. utilite, F. utilit'e, L.
utilitas, fr. utilis useful. See Utile.
1. The quality or state of being useful; usefulness;
production of good; profitableness to some valuable end;
as, the utility of manure upon land; the utility of the
sciences; the utility of medicines.

2. (Polit. Econ.) Adaptation to satisfy the desires or wants;
intrinsic value. See Note under Value, 2.

3. Happiness; the greatest good, or happiness, of the
greatest number, -- the foundation of utilitarianism. --J.
S. Mill.

So utility has three meanings. In one sense it is like manure. Another sense satisfies economic desires. The third sense is good for everyone. Hey, we're not done with the dictionary fun:

"Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)"
Kilt Kilt, v. t. imp. & p. p. Kilted; p. pr. & vb. n.
Kilting.
To tuck up; to truss up, as the clothes. Scot. --Sir W.
Scott.

"Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)"
Kilt Kilt,
p. p. from Kill. Obs. --Spenser.

"Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)"
Kilt Kilt, n. OGael. cealt clothes, or rather perh. fr. Dan.
kilte op to truss, tie up, tuck up.
A kind of short petticoat, reaching from the waist to the
knees, worn in the Highlands of Scotland by men, and in the
Lowlands by young boys; a filibeg. Written also kelt.

Kilt also has three meanings. It can mean to tuck your clothes up. It can be what you did to the now dead skirt-wearing guy. Or it can be a specific piece of clothing worn by Scottish men.

With three meanings for each part, we now have nine possible meanings for Utilikilt. They are:

1. Clothes for tucking up manure (around your junk)


2. Manure made from dead things


3. Shitty Scottish manskirt


4. Clothes to wrap up your desires


5. Satisfying killing


6. Scottish skirt for desirable men


7. Happiness in tucking


8. Death is best for most


9. Scottish skirts are great for every man

Which is the intended meaning of Utilikilt? I have no fucking clue but I do know some things about Scottish people and I learned them all from movies. For instance, Scottish men are brave and love hot, hot women some of whom die then haunt your ass. Also, modern Scottish people are angry because it's SHITE being Scottish! They're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched miserable servile pathetic trash that was ever shat on civilization. Some of them hate the English. But they're just wankers. The Scottish, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers and can't even find a decent culture to get colonized by. They're ruled by effete assholes. It's a shite state of affairs to be in and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference!

Servile patheticness is funny which is why Scottish people like jokes and precisely why Scottish men still wear kilts. It's all a big prank on the English wankers who are afraid to be insensitive to prancing, free-balling Scottish guys. Of course, some humorless jackass from Seattle doesn't get the joke so he makes and sells "DAMN HOT" crotchless men's garments with nice stitching in imitation of silly Scotty party clothes. So there you go.

END